Dear Me

 Angin tak ada ribut tak ada.. tetiber jer... maybe a lots of people facing same issue like mine too.. everything is suddenly.. suddenly you happy.. suddenly u said suddenly you felt lonely suddenly u felt like crying suddenly u felt like useless sad, lonely, useless... it kill u.. i'm sad thooo.. felt like giving up but i cant.. i cant holding on too it not easy to leave and.. it not easy to stay.. especially people make u felt like u not matter at all.. idk...i'm tired.. malu.. asa pelacur..everything.. no one will understand..

 19th January 2022 Hi.. i never know that writing going to be my habit. I miss to write and pour out everything i felt. I hope 2022 will bring me good news. Currently waiting interview result for penolong pegawai tadbir N29 & Pegawai Teknologi Maklumat F41, in the same time applying for GETS and Guru Ganti(in other word, just applying). Actually, i really hope for PTM, 1st its MY degree field, i hope for professional experience in that field, but yeah.. i can not get my hope way too high, just because it's all depend on rezeki right. Takut kecewa dari berharap is more heartbreak than other. Many thing happen too me actually. I got pregnant and i lose it. its a big hit for me last year. In this year, i am planning for marriage. Just hope everthing went well. Things are hard for both of us. Especially financially. My partner family being chased out from their home by their own relative, the ownership of the land they stay are the name of their moyang, so when their moyang give th...

 i'm lonely... i don't know when will this end.. i'm just felt so tired.. way too tired pls save me anyone pls help me.. save me from myself i'm gone crazy... help me... this journey way too lonely

 am i ever survive this?? it's hurting that much... why i got my hope high and now, i fall hard.. it hurt way too much.. what can i do now.. God pls help me... i dont to felt this anymore what can i do anymore everything are useless the same thing keep on repeating again and again.. i keep on getting hurt again and again.. what can i do when i dont wish to live anymore.. i hate this life that much..but i love my life so much...

 I need home to go back too... i need someone to go back too... i'm lonely.. i felt empty.. i need someone to be there for me.. i need love.. i want to love i want to be loved.. i want a place called home a home that welcome me.. a home that want me to be there.. i need that i really need that.. i  miss every happiness that i used to have before.. am i being ungrateful.. am i deserving all of this?? just what i am? who i am? what i had done? life is hard.. and its hard on me i cry i being sad i'm broken frustrated.. desperate pathetic again and again... i feel hopeless i feel lose... i feel nowhere to go anymore why i'm being this way? what should i do anymore... how to get better life why everything hurt so much i'm lonely.. i'm crying again last night... because it's feel so empty inside here... it's hurt that much... what can i do anymore??? i feel so weak...

 cheated.. by one-sided love.. by a liar.. by a cheater.. cheated on his gf.. n make you the other women.. the other women.. whom not aware of the cheater status.. whom being the third one.. whom  the one being used.. whom the one being lied.. whom are wrong in human lie..