Welcome 2022!

 19th January 2022

Hi.. i never know that writing going to be my habit. I miss to write and pour out everything i felt.

I hope 2022 will bring me good news. Currently waiting interview result for penolong pegawai tadbir N29 & Pegawai Teknologi Maklumat F41, in the same time applying for GETS and Guru Ganti(in other word, just applying). Actually, i really hope for PTM, 1st its MY degree field, i hope for professional experience in that field, but yeah.. i can not get my hope way too high, just because it's all depend on rezeki right. Takut kecewa dari berharap is more heartbreak than other.

Many thing happen too me actually. I got pregnant and i lose it. its a big hit for me last year. In this year, i am planning for marriage. Just hope everthing went well. Things are hard for both of us. Especially financially. My partner family being chased out from their home by their own relative, the ownership of the land they stay are the name of their moyang, so when their moyang give them the land, there no white and black proof, so their  own family took advantage of that and chased them out. So my partner having big issue now, while always with my debt issue. Hoping for ptm so that i can pay my debt 1500 per month.drastic move right?? but i want to be free from debt, so i will sacrify for few year first. it much better to have no debt. I want to manage my finance better. So, please pray for me.

This year is second year without my sister. i miss her so much and his kids, daniel and derrick. I hope they doing well and hope my sister rest well too. This 2 years  i had been so sensitive, every topic related to my sister make me emotional. I hope i'm doing fine too. I hope my dad too. He a bit lonely without my sister. Just thinking about getting marry make me sad, i need to leave him just because my partner is not from my hometown and i need to work to pay my debt. i hope he will be fine without me.

Everything felt so hard to decide now. Lets just hoping for the best.