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Showing posts from April, 2021

I miss Him, The one who did not love me back

 Yesterday... i was so frustrated and not able to sleep. I only sleep after 3 and wakeup at 6am. i wake up with a headache. Great headache. Delaying time till 8am and prepared for work. it took 30min to be done. Book grabcar and took 6 min for the driver to reach me. took took 5 min to reach workplace and endup being late. As i was in a very bad mood.. with terrible sadness inside me.. i choose to go back home again. Here i am..staying in my room mourning over my sadness. and then, find out that i’m having my period. Lol..no wonder..i’m way too sad. spend my time alone like this.. i just recall how desperate i am to love someone who not going to love me. i miss him.. n endup deactivate my social media for peace of mind. i can burden anyone else with my problem. i need to be calm in handling situation. i miss him..

Love and Rejection

 It’s take so much pain to love someone who not gonna love me back.. it’s hurting that much that i would stop feeling sleepy.. the pain that make me cry so badly.. it’s feel like my heart is bleeding... i feel so desperate.. desperate to love, being loved and in love... way too desperate and i feel ashamed of myself.. why i always doing this kind of thing? why can’t i just keep the feeling to myself..? why should i need to confess when i know that he gonna reject me.? why i keep on pursue a guy that never want me? what is wrong with me? it’s hurt so much... i keep on asking myself... am i ugly? am i not good enough..? is it due to all my sin..? am i not deserving love? why people keep on rejecting me? and i not deserve anything? not worth anything..? this hurt so much..i felt like screaming..this hurt so much god...what should i do ? i hate being this weak..i hte it..what is this meaningless life..?