Dear Me

 I need home to go back too... i need someone to go back too... i'm lonely.. i felt empty.. i need someone to be there for me.. i need love.. i want to love i want to be loved.. i want a place called home a home that welcome me.. a home that want me to be there.. i need that i really need that.. i  miss every happiness that i used to have before.. am i being ungrateful.. am i deserving all of this?? just what i am? who i am? what i had done? life is hard.. and its hard on me i cry i being sad i'm broken frustrated.. desperate pathetic again and again... i feel hopeless i feel lose... i feel nowhere to go anymore why i'm being this way? what should i do anymore... how to get better life why everything hurt so much i'm lonely.. i'm crying again last night... because it's feel so empty inside here... it's hurt that much... what can i do anymore??? i feel so weak...

 cheated.. by one-sided love.. by a liar.. by a cheater.. cheated on his gf.. n make you the other women.. the other women.. whom not aware of the cheater status.. whom being the third one.. whom  the one being used.. whom the one being lied.. whom are wrong in human lie..

 I miss u.. i miss u so much.. i miss u way too much.. but.. nothing i can do with this one-sided love.. i need to stay away.. i need to move on.. i need to protect myself.. i need n i must.. i miss u 🥲🥲🥲

 it is possible for someone who reject us to come back after we move on.? maybe that was my expectation.. expectation hurt.. i hope i can stop for expecting that kind of believe. if thing mean to be, it will happen.

 i always rejected by someone crush on.. idk why? it is me or else. i always attracted to someone but never get response. it always rejection.. it happened several time.. keep on rejected.. and its hurt so much..

 I want a home... a home to go back.. a home that going to welcome me.. my life full of rejection... where should i go?

 Yesterday... i was so frustrated and not able to sleep. I only sleep after 3 and wakeup at 6am. i wake up with a headache. Great headache. Delaying time till 8am and prepared for work. it took 30min to be done. Book grabcar and took 6 min for the driver to reach me. took took 5 min to reach workplace and endup being late. As i was in a very bad mood.. with terrible sadness inside me.. i choose to go back home again. Here i am..staying in my room mourning over my sadness. and then, find out that i’m having my period. Lol..no wonder..i’m way too sad. spend my time alone like this.. i just recall how desperate i am to love someone who not going to love me. i miss him.. n endup deactivate my social media for peace of mind. i can burden anyone else with my problem. i need to be calm in handling situation. i miss him..